Turning Trauma Into Purpose with Nicole Kerr

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[SPEAKER_01]: Trauma can change the course of life, but it could also become the doorway to profound growth in healing.

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[SPEAKER_01]: In this episode, I'm joined by award-winning health expert Nicole Kerr, who's journey began with a devastating accident and a near-death experience as a young cadet in the U.S. Air Force Academy.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Nicole shares how trauma shapes us, why healing is rarely a straight line and how the

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[SPEAKER_01]: can eventually help guide us and support others.

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[SPEAKER_01]: That life-changing event led to a beautiful near-death experience, and when I came back, I returned with some profound truths and the ability to connect with the other side.

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[SPEAKER_01]: In this podcast we'll explore these truths and learn how to strengthen your intuition and intuitive gifts.

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[SPEAKER_01]: You'll hear conversations with remarkable intuitives who share how their gifts came alive, evolved, and became part of their daily lives.

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[SPEAKER_01]: So whether you're just beginning your intuitive journey or you're ready to go deeper, this is your space to be inspired, guided, and reminded that your intuitive gift was always within you.

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[SPEAKER_01]: So let's begin and dial up our intuition together.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Today, I am pleased to introduce my guest, Nicole Kerr.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And Nicole is an award-winning health expert and co-author of Eating the Rainbow lifelong nutritional wellness without lies, hype, or calculus.

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[SPEAKER_01]: She's appeared on CNN, PBS, CBS, ABC, the Food Network, and many other outlets sharing her refreshing approach to health and wellness.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Nicole has spent more than 30 practical years working across government health care, academia, and the military helping people make meaningful choices for life long well-being, but her work is also deeply personal.

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[SPEAKER_01]: As a 19-year-old cadet at the U.S. Air Force Academy, Nicole experienced a traumatic accident that led to a near-death experience.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And today we're going to talk about trauma.

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[SPEAKER_01]: how it shapes us, and how dealing with it is often much more complex and nonlinear than we would expect.

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[SPEAKER_01]: So welcome Nicole.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm so pleased to have you here today.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, thank you, Kat.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm delighted to be on your show.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Great.

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[SPEAKER_01]: So you've been through an awful lot of trauma in your life.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Would you share with us a little bit about that accident when you were 19 years old?

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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, um, I think the best way to explain it, you know, photos are worth a thousand more.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm just, put this up here for your audience on YouTube to see.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But it's a picture of the 1965 Corvette convertible that I was in as a passenger when I was 19 years old.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Wow.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So you can see there's just nothing left of that.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It's all missing at all.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm so, I'm so surprised that I'm looking at you today after that accident.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Wow.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I will tell you, I am not here by my own position.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It was definitely a divine intervention that caused me to come back from the dad and to be here today, because you look at that crash and you go, how could anybody survive it?

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[SPEAKER_00]: And the truth is, I didn't survive it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I was actually pronounced dead at the scene of the crash.

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[SPEAKER_00]: and it took the first responders anywhere from 15, 16, 17 minutes to get to me.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So I was clinically dead for that long.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And the only sign of life that they could get when they started to do this sternal knuckle press on me was my right eye dilated.

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[SPEAKER_00]: The people highlighted an open.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And at that moment, my soul, which had already gone across to the other side when I was in the air, getting injected out of the core of that.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So my soul went over to the other side.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And now it's coming back in through my eye.

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[SPEAKER_00]: saying that we often hear our eyes or the window to our soul.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, that was the window they opening for my soul to enter my body again.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And as soon as that happened, they were able to get a blood pressure of 60 over zero on me.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Now 120 over 80 is normal.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So you can see I'm still in between life and death.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And so they did CPR on me all the way to the hospital.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And it was just touching go there.

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[SPEAKER_00]: They just want to get me stable that night and then I wound up four months in the hospital seven weeks and I see you.

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[SPEAKER_00]: massive injuries and, you know, and every time I started to get better cats, something would happen and I'd get worse.

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[SPEAKER_00]: You know, something would always seem to break that record, you know, building up and building up and I'm getting better and better and better and then boom, something else.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I have to have another surgery or I have to have emergency surgery, you know, where I coded in the, you know, in the operating room, because I wanted to go back to that white light that I saw that that didn't involve suffering.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It didn't involve

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[SPEAKER_00]: Um, when I experienced that white light on the other side, it was just so peaceful and there was no pain and there was no negativity.

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[SPEAKER_00]: There was no judgment.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, it was just pure essence brilliant God's love light and that cocoon of that light is what I was seeking again.

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[SPEAKER_00]: You know, I wanted it to go back to that.

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[SPEAKER_01]: So so much easier than that, but I was so broken and you were even driving that cars.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, yeah, and you know, I figured out by then that the military wasn't what I wanted.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It was what my father wanted for me, and I think a lot of us get conditioned if you come from a very dogmaticly positioned household where your parents know better for you than you know for yourself, what to do and how to do it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I was just trying to please my father by going into the service

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I realized, first day of boot camp, my soul knew it was in the wrong place.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It did not want to train to kill people, because that's ultimately in the military, what you're doing is trying to fight for our country.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, I couldn't quit though.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I think that was the issue was the shame of quitting.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I just, I couldn't deal with it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It was like, I would disappoint my dad at such a level and the congressman who nominated me and all the people who was telling me,

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[SPEAKER_00]: how special I was to get, you know, appointed to their force academy, which it is a big deal.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So you don't go out there and quit, you know?

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[SPEAKER_00]: You got to endure it, you got to suffer through it, you got to make it through it, even though you don't really want to.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I wish I had been getting permission to quit.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I really do, because none of this would have happened.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It would have been a lot easier.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But my path to a different journey and the crash happened as a way to get me out of the abuse.

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[SPEAKER_00]: the fear that I was in at the Academy.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And thank God, you know, I did come out of it physically as well as I have, mentally has been a whole different story struggling and the shame of dealing with a lot of the issues that that surface around the crash.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And then there is a concept that your audience may not be familiar with called spiritual trauma.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if you're familiar with that or not, but there are different types of trauma.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It's not just physical trauma that people experience.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Right, definitely have heard a bit and I'll let you address that as well since this is something you experienced.

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[SPEAKER_01]: But tell me while you were in that light, tell me a little bit about what you experienced in that place.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so my memory came back 19 years later.

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[SPEAKER_00]: The only memory I had when I woke up in the ICU 12 hours after they had found me was the bright white light.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Like I was in this tunnel of light and it felt like I was an astronaut floating in outer space the all in the wonder in the brilliance.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I felt so safe and so like cocoons wrapped in it, you know, like a little cocoon, a butterfly cocoon.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I felt like a little cocoon, you know, I was all warm and snugly inside that just the brilliance of light and it's not a light like the deer and the head light light.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It's not that it's there's no shock value to it or

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[SPEAKER_00]: Um, disturbance at all, but what I realized, that was the love of God.

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[SPEAKER_00]: That to me, feeling that, whoa, you want to talk about powerful.

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[SPEAKER_00]: it was it was there's really no words to describe it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I know many people that have in the E's have a hard time putting the words on the experience because it's so far removed from our vocabulary, how to describe something that is beyond our wildest dreams because you know like I tell people, you know they're more colors over there than the colors that we have

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[SPEAKER_00]: But I, for the life of me, I can't remember what those colors would, what you would bell to look like them, you know, I've now thought I'm back here, but I know that there was just more colors over there, and there was, you know, the music was different, and all these things, and, and so, to me,

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[SPEAKER_00]: having to have gone through this experience and coming out to where I am now and my memory coming back 19 years later.

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[SPEAKER_00]: That was really the point in my life where my spiritual transformation began.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Because remembering what I had seen and heard and experienced on the other side was now aligned with me.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It was concrete.

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[SPEAKER_00]: People said, well, why do you think 19 years is a long time to be without any memory?

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[SPEAKER_00]: to things.

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[SPEAKER_00]: When you're dealing with trauma, any kind of trauma, usually you'll have repressed memories.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And a lot of sexual abuse, people that are sexually abused, they lose their memory of it, you know, and they want to lose their memory of it.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, we should away because they don't want to deal with it.

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[SPEAKER_01]: It's it's very common.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so so 19 years, you know, I am going to work at the CDC and I got my stopped at Starbucks and got my coffee and all of a sudden it's like a download it's like I'm watching a video of how I'm sitting in that core bed as the passenger I couldn't ever understand how like my left foot got cut off and I have all these massive really severe injuries up near my

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[SPEAKER_00]: a female part.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We'll just say that, you know, in my society, that massive, I had to have skin grafts.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, it was, um, plus I, you know, severed my right wrist and my pelvis on both sides was fractured.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So I can't wonder, how did, how did those injuries happen?

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[SPEAKER_00]: I really, I did not injure my spine.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you, God.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And, uh,

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[SPEAKER_00]: And my brain, I had a traumatic brain injury, but it did resolve.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So, you know, I, all of a sudden in this movie now, I'm watching, I have one foot on the dashboard, and you know how you put the other foot on, over it, you know, kind of like it across.

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[SPEAKER_00]: That's what I was doing.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I was back, because it was a quarterback convertible, the top was down.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I was just, you know, chilling there.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And that's what I realized.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Now I've had a couple nurses tell me never put your legs up on the dashboard when you're going to your passenger or your drive and that's the worst thing that you can do.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So now you know, they should have gotten that before.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So anyway, the whole movie unfolded and

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[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't go to work.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I went to my chiropractor and he does body work and I sat at his office so he could fit me on and he sent a call these are repressed memories.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And he was able to help me bring up the memory to the moment that I flew out of the car through the windshield and I got stuck up in the air because I knew when I hit the ground cat I was going to die and I cried out, oh my god, help me.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And at that moment an angel came and took me over to the other side.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And

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[SPEAKER_00]: When I hit the ground, I felt no pain.

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[SPEAKER_00]: People asked me that all the time, did you experience any pain?

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I said no, and I will pretty much 99.9% of the time.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Anybody that's in a traumatic accident incident where they lose their life and don't come back.

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[SPEAKER_00]: They didn't feel the pain.

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[SPEAKER_00]: They're so left prior to the impact.

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[SPEAKER_00]: You can rest assured that they didn't go out feeling horrific pain.

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[SPEAKER_01]: that's really helpful for people to know.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I, with my brain hemorrhage, I felt the pain initially, and then it was taken away from me.

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[SPEAKER_01]: The pain was gone, and I hear that from so many people with a near-death experience.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's taken away.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So that I know is really important for people to hear because they really none of us want to our loved ones are people to suffer when they're when they're passing right so so that was that was my experience and then as it that night I went home and the rest of the when I went to bed the rest of the memory downloaded and it was.

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[SPEAKER_00]: me being on the other side talking to angels.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I had a angel that had taken me over and his main message to me is to not fear death.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, you know that she worked in this field.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We are a death bio-society.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, we are.

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[SPEAKER_01]: We don't even want to talk about, you know, how do we plan for it or let's, you know, what do I want when I have my funeral?

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[SPEAKER_01]: Oh no, we can't talk about that.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Not even

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[SPEAKER_01]: It's like if we talk about it, I mean, it's just going to happen.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't have to tell you, it is going to happen because 100% of us, it's going to happen.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and it really is the only thing in life that every single all 8 billion of us souls have in common is what you're going to make our transition eventually.

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[SPEAKER_01]: So I already tell you listeners, you're going to die.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, all are going to die at some point.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And it's okay to talk about it and it's not such a horrific, horrific thing, it's absolutely beautiful and we really shouldn't fear it.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Because for me, it was a beautiful, beyond beautiful experience and I hear that from everybody that I've talked to.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And I know that there are supposedly reports out there of people that have said, oh, I went into darkness.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And most of the time they say, and then the light came on.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely, it's not this doom and gloom and dread and negativity at all, it is like I concur 100% the beauty and the brilliance and the just the love of it and If it and there is no pain, it really is like if you've ever been put under in an anesthesia and an operation All of a sudden you're like talking to the doctor and next thing, you know, you're out and then you

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[SPEAKER_00]: Then they go, uh, excuse me, Miss Kerr, open your eyes, open your eyes, wake up, you know, and it's like you wake up and you're like, we're, we're about in the past 20 minutes.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Well, that's kind of like what death is you just wake up and you're in a different reality, you know, only your experience this unconditional beautiful love beyond anything you can even imagine so yeah, so live your life fully without the fear of death because it's glorious.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Well, and I think that is an issue with us is, okay, we're human.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We have to acknowledge that we are human.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We're not just all in the spiritual realm, and the human part of us does have fears, but most of our fears are irrational.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I think it's important that you have to address, especially if you fear death, I believe your beliefs about God shape your relationship with death.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But if you were raised like you are eye-bath-sother-bath-dis for me, but Baptist, and I also got Lutheran, you know, there was a God presented to us that was dualistic.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It was, they, he, it was a he, it was a male, he loved you, but yet on the other hand, if you had, there were a bunch of rules, and if you broke those rules, you know, you were gonna be,

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[SPEAKER_00]: condemned and you know the wrath of God would come on you and you could burn in hell and I mean it was all these fear-based Images that you would be eternally separated from God and your family and no child wants to grow up with that So if you've still got that belief system going on in your body

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[SPEAKER_00]: and you haven't dealt with it, it's gonna be your default operating system.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Even though you're trying to think yourself differently, you gotta go back and undo this programming that you were basically branded into indoctrinated into, and it takes a while to unwind all of that.

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[SPEAKER_00]: You know, it's not just a, I have my experiences, it wasn't just a flip of the switch and all of a sudden, oh, I have this new concept of God.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Um, but that is where my journey started was waking up, um, under, I mean, getting that memory back and understanding what I experienced was, um, making me question all the beliefs that I grew up with, including family obligations, including, um, you're role in the family, and that you couldn't believe differently from the family, you know, we all had to believe the same way and be on the same page.

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[SPEAKER_00]: No, you know, it's, it's, you have to break out of that,

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[SPEAKER_00]: done for me, it made me break out of the bubble that I had been living in and start seeing life in a more expanded way and be open to different concepts and different.

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[SPEAKER_00]: realities that we're going on and it made so much sense because when you actually can release that fear and know that you're going to go to someplace that's beautiful and welcoming and you'll see your family members there, your ancestors, your pets will be over there.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, it's like, wow,

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[SPEAKER_00]: You know, you're going to be going, why was I scared all those years and I quit?

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[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't really live my life.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't take those risks because I was in such fear something bad would happen to me.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So you have to really work with the part of your brain that's the amygdala, the fight flight freeze part.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Because if you're in that sympathetic mode all the time, you are going to lose your sense of clarity.

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[SPEAKER_00]: You're not going to be making decisions for your highest and greatest good.

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[SPEAKER_00]: That has to come from the prefrontal cortex where you have all your executive reasoning and with your brain and your resume, you know all of this how important this prefrontal lobe is and what it does for the body.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So in order to get your clarity, you've got to address the fears

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[SPEAKER_00]: and they come from the existence of these limiting belief systems.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So you have to start, that's the transformative work you have to do.

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[SPEAKER_00]: You have to start addressing these belief systems that no longer work for you, whether you're a people pleaser, whether you're stuck with these identities that have to be the good daughter, the good wife, all of these things that are super imposed on you that keep you from really discovering and loving and being who you were meant to be.

19:06.198 --> 19:12.375
[SPEAKER_01]: Now, why do you think that you've experienced all this trauma and shame?

19:12.455 --> 19:16.005
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, you were raised in a home that was very, very strict.

19:16.475 --> 19:23.022
[SPEAKER_01]: And you went through this experience and came out the other side with additional things that you had to deal with.

19:23.062 --> 19:34.254
[SPEAKER_01]: It wasn't just, oh, I had a car accident and I broke my arm and then I had to deal with you had extensive damage to your body that you had to continue to deal with for many, many years.

19:34.294 --> 19:41.402
[SPEAKER_01]: In fact, I'm sure you're still dealing with it like I am, but physically on your body even worse.

19:41.804 --> 19:49.233
[SPEAKER_01]: So why do we as souls come into these bodies and have to deal with all of this?

19:49.533 --> 19:59.144
[SPEAKER_01]: What is the benefit to us or what is the reason in your mind that we deal with all of this trauma and shame and all of this?

19:59.344 --> 20:00.386
[SPEAKER_01]: Is there a benefit?

20:00.486 --> 20:01.707
[SPEAKER_01]: Are we being punished?

20:01.787 --> 20:05.972
[SPEAKER_01]: Are we, you know, why do we go through all of this?

20:06.222 --> 20:10.388
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, let me dispel the myth that we are going to be punished.

20:10.749 --> 20:14.515
[SPEAKER_00]: We are never punished by the universe, the divine, whatever.

20:14.575 --> 20:17.479
[SPEAKER_00]: They don't operate in that, but in bad terms.

20:17.539 --> 20:18.741
[SPEAKER_00]: That's an earth turn.

20:19.082 --> 20:21.405
[SPEAKER_00]: So there's no punishment, there's no judgment.

20:21.646 --> 20:24.991
[SPEAKER_00]: And that is a real big one because most of us judge ourselves.

20:25.371 --> 20:29.738
[SPEAKER_00]: But we have to go back to what is our purpose here with our soul.

20:29.838 --> 20:32.382
[SPEAKER_00]: And in my opinion, our soul is here.

20:32.362 --> 20:47.901
[SPEAKER_00]: to evolve, to grow, to expand the capacity to love, and to learn these lessons that we came in that we needed to learn to get that soul up to a higher level or a higher vibration.

20:47.941 --> 20:55.951
[SPEAKER_00]: And so in order to do that, it seems like here on earth school, the only thing that's going to get us to really change is an experience.

20:56.231 --> 20:57.593
[SPEAKER_00]: You have to have a

20:57.573 --> 21:01.238
[SPEAKER_00]: an experience that brings up suffering and brings up pain.

21:01.338 --> 21:02.960
[SPEAKER_00]: And I don't believe suffering is optional.

21:03.040 --> 21:04.923
[SPEAKER_00]: I think it goes hand in hand with pain.

21:05.503 --> 21:08.627
[SPEAKER_00]: And so that's how you move through this.

21:08.908 --> 21:14.335
[SPEAKER_00]: Because if you didn't, if you had this powder puff life, you wouldn't need to keep evolving.

21:14.595 --> 21:20.202
[SPEAKER_00]: So yes, we're all here to learn those lessons and our growth every soul is different.

21:20.323 --> 21:23.206
[SPEAKER_00]: We're not all in the same speed of development.

21:23.286 --> 21:26.871
[SPEAKER_00]: So

21:26.851 --> 21:41.873
[SPEAKER_00]: we're old souls okay we have been around many many at least 100 incarnations okay and so we are able to take the pain in the suffering and transform that and

21:41.853 --> 21:50.402
[SPEAKER_00]: able to speak about our messages that we received on the other side that it is, you know, God is love that we're all one consciousness that there's no fear of death.

21:50.542 --> 21:58.131
[SPEAKER_00]: All of these, I've never met you or other Indies and we're all having the same messages basically being brought down here.

21:58.631 --> 22:00.253
[SPEAKER_00]: That is not by accident.

22:00.313 --> 22:04.958
[SPEAKER_00]: That is a design to show how many different experiences people

22:04.938 --> 22:09.343
[SPEAKER_00]: the core essence of what you experience still stays the same.

22:09.923 --> 22:20.914
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not interesting that you and I, you know, different parts of the country, we meet, we talk and we have some of the very same experiences from our near-death experience.

22:21.415 --> 22:25.819
[SPEAKER_01]: We want to show people or to teach people, there's no fear of death.

22:26.140 --> 22:34.168
[SPEAKER_01]: We have these experiences and I think that we sign up for some of these experiences.

22:34.368 --> 22:36.171
[SPEAKER_01]: But I think we came into this life.

22:36.752 --> 22:53.339
[SPEAKER_01]: I came into this Cat Sanders body and said, you know, I'm willing to have a tougher life because I know that I'm gonna be able to learn as a soul or to grow, to experience more if I have a little bit tougher life.

22:53.900 --> 22:58.027
[SPEAKER_01]: Then if I have, you know, we talked about a powder puff life, too easy.

22:58.087 --> 22:58.929
[SPEAKER_01]: Too easy.

22:58.969 --> 23:00.291
[SPEAKER_01]: What am I going to,

23:00.642 --> 23:04.506
[SPEAKER_01]: experience if everything's just handed to me on a silver platter.

23:05.167 --> 23:06.208
[SPEAKER_01]: I want that tough life.

23:06.649 --> 23:12.715
[SPEAKER_01]: And you had one with a parent or parents that, you know, are going to say, no, you can't do that.

23:12.755 --> 23:13.396
[SPEAKER_01]: You can't do that.

23:13.476 --> 23:17.440
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to raise you in this little, you know, steal box.

23:17.460 --> 23:23.387
[SPEAKER_01]: So nothing can happen to you because they were afraid that something might hurt you or touch you.

23:23.447 --> 23:24.488
[SPEAKER_01]: So no, you can't do this.

23:24.508 --> 23:25.209
[SPEAKER_01]: You can't do that.

23:25.269 --> 23:27.291
[SPEAKER_01]: You can't, you know, do anything.

23:27.507 --> 23:29.530
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's going to be my way or the highway.

23:29.610 --> 23:31.613
[SPEAKER_01]: And let me tell you, I'm going to beat that into you.

23:32.074 --> 23:35.098
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe literally, and it's going to be this way.

23:35.158 --> 23:48.978
[SPEAKER_01]: And so you're raised in a tough household, and you go out, and you do everything you can to please your parents, and all these bad things happen to you anyway, because you can't be protected from everything in the world.

23:49.159 --> 23:51.422
[SPEAKER_00]: And you still have this horrific accident.

23:51.807 --> 23:59.978
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, most of us quit believing in the God that we were raised with with a certain religion, because we are praying for something and it's not happening.

23:59.998 --> 24:05.545
[SPEAKER_00]: In fact, things get worse, you know, or everything happen and you're like, the abuse isn't stopping.

24:05.906 --> 24:07.728
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm asking you to please stop the abuse.

24:07.768 --> 24:11.453
[SPEAKER_00]: Can't you see how it's hurting and nothing changes, you know?

24:11.593 --> 24:16.941
[SPEAKER_00]: And so over time, you just go, well, my God must not care about me, you know?

24:17.842 --> 24:21.747
[SPEAKER_00]: And so you, you've personified God also is this

24:21.963 --> 24:35.280
[SPEAKER_00]: you know, that is able to do all these things because you're told he's a white, you know, a white-haired man up in the heavens, but I wanted to just briefly touch back on that the trauma thing, there's a family legacy of trauma that's also passed down.

24:35.380 --> 24:41.547
[SPEAKER_00]: In any time you have a physical trauma, you are also going to have an emotional trauma that goes along with it.

24:41.908 --> 24:45.372
[SPEAKER_00]: And that has probably been my hardest work is

24:45.352 --> 24:52.920
[SPEAKER_00]: dealing with the emotions because we are a very illiterate country when it comes to emotions and expressing emotions.

24:53.361 --> 25:09.638
[SPEAKER_00]: Most of us are taught not to get angry, especially as women, you know, don't hurt your parents, all these messages where you're not allowed to express, especially your disagreement or if opinion didn't resonate with others, you know, like

25:09.618 --> 25:17.746
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, it just makes sense that the Bible is God's word because who wrote about Jesus in Gassimony if Jesus was there alone?

25:17.786 --> 25:19.048
[SPEAKER_00]: Who's there to watch?

25:19.088 --> 25:20.069
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a record that.

25:20.169 --> 25:25.074
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, it just, you start asking these questions that don't make sense and then they don't want to hear that.

25:25.114 --> 25:26.755
[SPEAKER_00]: They don't want to have an answer for that.

25:26.775 --> 25:29.198
[SPEAKER_00]: You just have to blindly agree with it.

25:29.638 --> 25:36.385
[SPEAKER_00]: So, you know, it's really important that you look at what are the belief systems your family is

25:36.365 --> 25:56.584
[SPEAKER_00]: and if they don't align with who you are now then this is the time in your life where you said I got to break out of these because I am not really honoring and loving myself because I've got these barriers and beliefs that say I have to stay in fear or I have to do what they do and they tell me to do or else you know and so

25:56.564 --> 26:08.118
[SPEAKER_00]: I think a lot of people are starting to wake up and realize it's okay to be the black sheep in the family that our birth families are not necessarily the ones that are always going to be there for us.

26:08.138 --> 26:10.781
[SPEAKER_00]: We have actually soul families that we come in with.

26:11.482 --> 26:26.520
[SPEAKER_00]: So you start finding some of your other soul family members that I think start showing up in your life as well to realize that you have that connection and that's really more important than the birth connection.

26:26.787 --> 26:29.171
[SPEAKER_01]: something they need to shout from the mountain tops.

26:29.712 --> 26:31.314
[SPEAKER_01]: And right, we all seem to.

26:31.354 --> 26:44.976
[SPEAKER_01]: Now I come back and I get these gifts all said and I'm talking to dead people and I go, oh, you know, and so one of the things or some of the things I need to shout from the mountain tops is that we have this beautiful connection with everything.

26:45.116 --> 26:47.520
[SPEAKER_01]: We are one with everything.

26:47.960 --> 26:50.905
[SPEAKER_01]: The animals, the people from the other side,

26:51.172 --> 26:55.036
[SPEAKER_01]: The plants and trees, everything is completely connected.

26:55.137 --> 27:03.586
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's what I need to shout from the mountaintops is, we've got this connection, let me teach you, let me show you how beautiful it is.

27:03.626 --> 27:06.309
[SPEAKER_01]: Don't be afraid of death, be connected.

27:06.349 --> 27:14.118
[SPEAKER_01]: And so that's why I do this podcast is to help people be connected and not be afraid and to live their life fully.

27:14.599 --> 27:19.204
[SPEAKER_01]: What is the thing that you need to shout from the mountaintops?

27:19.538 --> 27:22.783
[SPEAKER_01]: So go ahead and shout from the mountain tops.

27:22.803 --> 27:24.767
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, it's the message I got over there.

27:24.787 --> 27:26.990
[SPEAKER_00]: It was really clear and it was very simple.

27:27.010 --> 27:29.575
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't need to fear God, you know?

27:29.615 --> 27:39.110
[SPEAKER_00]: You are deafless and so many of us have been raised in religions that made us fear God.

27:39.231 --> 27:42.576
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I'm trying to help people

27:42.556 --> 27:45.739
[SPEAKER_00]: What does it when you break things out, de-de-construct?

27:46.060 --> 27:50.624
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just, believe and start going, what about, does this make sense to me?

27:50.704 --> 27:54.288
[SPEAKER_00]: And what is my true concept of God's source, all of this?

27:54.548 --> 28:01.515
[SPEAKER_00]: To start questioning that, no one has the right answer for you, but please understand, God is not causing these wars.

28:01.796 --> 28:07.702
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, God is not up there doing, let bad things, well, you did this, so bad's gonna happen to you.

28:07.762 --> 28:10.825
[SPEAKER_00]: That's not true at all, those are man-made,

28:10.805 --> 28:34.888
[SPEAKER_00]: Theories and laws that we have been governed with and have been, you know, just told this is the way it is and I want people to start waking up and start questioning that and start realizing they have a soul that is eternal it goes on.

28:34.868 --> 28:35.949
[SPEAKER_00]: It was not moving.

28:35.969 --> 28:36.790
[SPEAKER_00]: It would not go anywhere.

28:36.811 --> 28:38.413
[SPEAKER_00]: There was anything in there to keep it alive.

28:38.693 --> 28:42.097
[SPEAKER_00]: That part that was keeping me breathing in the life, off it flew.

28:42.618 --> 28:46.984
[SPEAKER_00]: And that is the part of you that continues to live on and on and on and on.

28:47.004 --> 28:54.694
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's going to take all the experiences that you had on earth this go around and it's going to help you like a tapestry.

28:54.794 --> 29:03.525
[SPEAKER_00]: Everything that you had done your interactions, the way you spoke, spoken to people, the way you treated mother earth and

29:03.505 --> 29:14.257
[SPEAKER_00]: and then you're going to be able to see and go, wow, why was I this way or that way, you know, and learn that we really are all coming here to love ourselves and one another.

29:14.277 --> 29:15.358
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.

29:15.598 --> 29:20.223
[SPEAKER_01]: And so now I've learned from this life once we're passed.

29:20.624 --> 29:21.845
[SPEAKER_01]: I've learned from this life.

29:22.706 --> 29:27.611
[SPEAKER_01]: Now I want to be coming back and I want to do it again, but I've learned so much.

29:27.751 --> 29:31.015
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm hoping that this

29:31.383 --> 29:34.509
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to love more is all about love.

29:35.030 --> 29:37.936
[SPEAKER_01]: It just boils down to that one thing.

29:37.956 --> 29:39.939
[SPEAKER_01]: It is so much about love.

29:39.980 --> 29:50.640
[SPEAKER_01]: And so if anybody can get anything out of what you've said, what I learned, what other people that go to the other side learn love more.

29:51.076 --> 29:54.664
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I think we probably need to wrap it up.

29:54.724 --> 29:57.730
[SPEAKER_01]: It's just been running, we kind of run out of time.

29:58.451 --> 29:59.955
[SPEAKER_00]: And I go back and just address one thing.

29:59.975 --> 30:01.297
[SPEAKER_00]: I think so, Lately, please do.

30:01.899 --> 30:03.161
[SPEAKER_00]: What is spiritual trauma?

30:03.282 --> 30:05.346
[SPEAKER_00]: They don't probably don't understand what that is.

30:05.386 --> 30:06.368
[SPEAKER_00]: Please do.

30:06.348 --> 30:09.933
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so your spirit first of all cannot be traumatized, okay?

30:10.314 --> 30:11.075
[SPEAKER_00]: It is whole.

30:11.215 --> 30:14.781
[SPEAKER_00]: It's got it all together, okay?

30:14.801 --> 30:17.064
[SPEAKER_00]: So you're not going to ever traumatize your spirit.

30:17.445 --> 30:23.694
[SPEAKER_00]: What does count as spiritual trauma is when you believe you have to go through something external to get to God.

30:24.115 --> 30:29.082
[SPEAKER_00]: So you're focused on the external instead of realizing that God is within you.

30:29.062 --> 30:47.708
[SPEAKER_00]: If you have a complete fallout of all your systems, your mental, your physical, your emotional, and your spiritual when you're predicated on the belief that you have to go through something external to get to God, whether it's Jesus to get to God or whatever it is, but that is not in my opinion, the truth.

30:48.029 --> 30:49.831
[SPEAKER_00]: God is within every single one of us.

30:49.911 --> 30:52.134
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't need to go anywhere else to access it.

30:52.555 --> 30:54.057
[SPEAKER_01]: So that's what not separate.

30:54.526 --> 31:00.311
[SPEAKER_01]: It just, everybody seems to make it feel like God is somebody separate what you're hanging up there in the sky somewhere.

31:00.351 --> 31:01.973
[SPEAKER_01]: He is totally within us.

31:02.033 --> 31:03.274
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm so glad you said that.

31:03.754 --> 31:05.356
[SPEAKER_01]: Really appreciate you going there.

31:05.876 --> 31:12.322
[SPEAKER_01]: And you've been through so much trauma and yet you're using that trauma to help other people and that's just beautiful.

31:12.702 --> 31:22.491
[SPEAKER_01]: If we can forgive, as hard as it is, forgive, what's happened, take the trauma that you've had and make good of it.

31:22.741 --> 31:52.360
[SPEAKER_01]: by loving other people, that is just the most beautiful thing in the world and that's exactly what you're doing and get the help you need to process the trauma, how much more available now to help you process it, be able to talk about it like you've done and like you're doing, be able to get the help that you need and then be able to take that bundle of trauma and shame

31:52.964 --> 31:56.770
[SPEAKER_01]: and then move forward by using it to help other people.

31:57.091 --> 31:59.194
[SPEAKER_01]: It's beautiful, beautiful.

32:00.156 --> 32:16.643
[SPEAKER_01]: Can you tell us, I know you've written a couple of books and I know you have a website and I know you do this to help other people, can you please share with us how people can reach you and how they can find and buy your books?

32:17.213 --> 32:27.447
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so my website is www.knaclecur with a K-E-R-R.com and on there there's a contact and you can ask any questions you have.

32:27.487 --> 32:39.002
[SPEAKER_00]: I just respond to everybody that sends me a question or once a free first chapter of my book and the book that I've written that deals with my journey, my healing journey, and my NDE is you are deathless.

32:38.982 --> 32:40.846
[SPEAKER_00]: And I have to ask you cat real quick.

32:40.866 --> 32:43.071
[SPEAKER_00]: You see this credential right there?

32:43.131 --> 32:43.913
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.

32:44.774 --> 32:44.955
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.

32:45.195 --> 32:49.124
[SPEAKER_00]: And for those of you that are listening through the podcast, it's BTDT.

32:49.164 --> 32:50.346
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you know what that means, cat?

32:50.366 --> 32:51.288
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna put you on the spot.

32:51.529 --> 32:52.190
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't.

32:53.052 --> 32:53.252
[SPEAKER_00]: All right.

32:53.273 --> 32:53.854
[SPEAKER_00]: You've got me.

32:55.197 --> 32:56.199
[SPEAKER_00]: Been there done that.

32:57.041 --> 32:57.261
[UNKNOWN]: I know.

32:58.540 --> 33:21.387
[SPEAKER_00]: It's my credential for being able to talk about the NDE because there's no school that you go to, there's no degree, and you know, going over to the other side and coming back, it really is an experiential credential and I tell anybody, if you go, if you experience something, then doesn't have a field of study or a degree program feel free to use that.

33:21.447 --> 33:24.290
[SPEAKER_00]: And I did put it on my book, so people are asking me, what's that?

33:24.310 --> 33:25.171
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm never saying that for that.

33:25.652 --> 33:26.893
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that.

33:27.160 --> 33:43.397
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, tell me that you can't, if you've had a near-death experience, that is a degree or having, it's done the hard way, but that's something that other people can, it's certainly not claim that you know what happens when you die.

33:43.457 --> 33:48.582
[SPEAKER_01]: If they haven't been there, yeah, they certainly can't talk about it with any credibility.

33:48.723 --> 33:53.387
[SPEAKER_01]: And if you've been there, you know so much about what's really going on on the other side.

33:53.427 --> 33:54.889
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a beautiful degree.

33:57.164 --> 34:04.629
[SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, you can find my book on Amazon and Barnes and Noble and you know, it's it's more my healing journey.

34:04.669 --> 34:09.064
[SPEAKER_00]: It has the india and it is well that if you want to know what I've gone through in terms of

34:09.584 --> 34:14.834
[SPEAKER_00]: different modalities of helping, including even talking to doing a shamanic journey.

34:14.894 --> 34:23.470
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I have been there and done it in terms of trying to heal different aspects of my emotional self, my physical self, and my mental self.

34:24.071 --> 34:27.197
[SPEAKER_01]: As you most certainly have it, by the way, I have read the book.

34:27.477 --> 34:28.379
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a wonderful book.

34:28.479 --> 34:29.922
[SPEAKER_01]: So you really should.

34:30.172 --> 34:31.794
[SPEAKER_01]: go out and get it and read it.

34:31.814 --> 34:33.877
[SPEAKER_01]: I highly recommend it.

34:33.897 --> 34:40.665
[SPEAKER_01]: So thank you so much for coming on, being my guest and sharing your story with us.

34:41.045 --> 34:46.612
[SPEAKER_01]: And I hope that people will go out and get the book because like I said, it's a good one.

34:46.953 --> 34:48.054
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a good one.

34:48.074 --> 34:49.776
[SPEAKER_01]: So again, thank you so much.

34:49.997 --> 34:51.218
[SPEAKER_01]: I really appreciate you coming in.